It's words that hurt the most

I've been talking to a friend recently, who has struggled with body image for a long time. I feel as though I've failed her. She's been getting better recently, and then today, boom. A few choice words from her mother and things are worse than ever. Words are so powerful that way. So hurtful. Especially from those we love and trust.

Unfortunately, the negative words always seem to have more power than the positive. So the hour of positive that I've been pounding into her seems to be for naught. Worst of all, the choices her mother made when speaking to her have now destroyed her image of the one thing that my friend did like about her image.

I've been friends with this person for going on five years now, and I feel as though I've failed her. I want to scream at her parents. I want to drive to her house and talk to her and get her to listen to what I'm saying. To get her to look in a mirror and see what I see.

Words. Such potential to hurt and destroy. But also to heal. And to inspire change. We just need to find the positive potential and use that instead. I think that if we were more aware that words are our greatest weapons, kids wouldn't be so cruel. Parents wouldn't be so inconsiderate. Friends would be more careful. And things like this wouldn't happen so tragically often.

Wow, way to end on a positive note. (Not)

-T.A.D.

There's no one else to blame

The deepest scars are the ones we make in ourselves.

The times we hate ourselves, blame ourselves, yell at ourselves, hurt ourselves, lose ourselves.

I think the worst part of the scars we make ourselves is how we feel obligated to fix those wounds by ourselves. We feel like because we were able to break something or hurt something in us, we shouldn't ask for help about fixing it.

But we can't do that by ourselves. Hating yourself is the worst kind of hatred you can experience. How do you make yourself open to the love of others if you don't love yourself?

There's a lot of questions about self-love that I don't have the answers to. I wish I did; they would make things so much easier.

Sometimes all we can do is just get by. Somehow, we have to do it. Even if that means sitting in front of a TV all day watching sad movies and eating ice cream.

All we can do is try and remember that there's a light at the end of every tunnel, even if we think we've blown it out ourselves.

Because we really are all loved by someone. So when you're feeling down, remember that person or those people who love you.

If no one else, remember me.

I love you all, despite the fact that I don't know who some of you are and I may never meet you or see you or touch you or laugh with you.

Love.

-T.A.D.

It won't be long...

...until I write a real, new, and creative post.

However, I've become quite exhausted and am going to fall back on sharing something I wrote some time ago. I know, I know, two pieces about friendship in less than ten days. But this is different, and is basically a two second guide to how I feel about making friends with yourself.

Making friends with yourself is probably the hardest relationship you'll ever have to forge. When you're a little kid you learn from your parents and your teachers how to make friends with other people. You are polite and kind and genuine, whatever that means. But no one teaches you how to love yourself. Or even how to just be friends with yourself. You can't really be polite to yourself, just like you can't really be rude. You can't share with yourself. Sharing in definition requires at least two people. Your parents don't teach you. So how do you do it? How do you learn to like yourself? It's not even on your radar when you're young, but then you find yourself in a position where you don't know yourself, and you sure as hell aren't friends with yourself. And you don't know where to begin.

If anyone has any insights on the topic, by all means, comment away.

I promise to write about what I intended to write about tomorrow.

Apologetically,

-T.A.D.