Dear Mr. President

“It must suck to be the President.”

This is the thought that popped into my head as my sister, my sister’s friend, and my cousin tackled me. We were playing a game that I had just been introduced to, called, quite appropriately, “Mr. President.” This game consists of a few simple steps and reminds me of the card game “Spoons.” If you have ever played spoons, you know that being the last one to clue in can be humiliating and, if you are very sensitive, scarring. “Mr. President” is scarring in a more tangible way. The idea of the game is that one by one, people in the same room as you put two fingers to their ear, as though they are a member of the secret service. The last person to touch their imaginary headset is “The President.” In unison, your faithful secret service yells “GET DOWN MR. PRESIDENT!” And then comes the tackling, as though you are being shot at.

Personally, I would rather take the bullet. One round ended with me rolling off the bed to avoid being tackled, as I screamed “I AM DOWN, DON’T DO IT!” To their credit, my sister and her friend respected this (or didn’t want to make the extra effort) and so did not tackle me. Thomas, my cousin, flew over the bed, landing on my head. This might not have been so bad had I successfully rolled off the bed. As it was, I didn’t make it all the way off, so my head was hanging there. By my neck. Which made an unpleasant noise. Thomas responded well to my desperate shrieks of “GETOFFGETOFFGETOFF” and we decided to be done with the game for now.

All I can say is, it’s a good thing I already have an appointment with the chiropractor tomorrow.

After this game was over, the thought stayed with me. I don’t care what you are, Democrat, Republican, whatever. We all have to agree, it must really suck to be President. Not only is it a ridiculously stressful job to begin with, seeing as you are in charge of one of the most powerful nations in the world, but then throw in the fact that you have the hopes and dreams of the American people riding on your shoulders as you struggle with recession, war, global warming, and the hundreds of other things that make this country so special. [PLEASE NOTE: I am not getting into politics right now, this is universal suckage no matter which President you want to talk about, Obama, Bush, Clinton, Bush Sr., all the way back to Washington] In addition, because this country has become increasingly divided into parties, you are basically putting yourself in a position to be hated, or at least disliked, or at least looked down on, by approximately half the population.

I get that it’s also about power and yeah, maybe it would be pretty awesome to have that much power. But, as Spiderman has taught us, “with great power comes great responsibility.” You live under the scrutinizing eye of the press. People watch and then talk about your every move, word, and decision. Sometimes the talk is good, sometimes it’s not so good. I wonder sometimes how any of our Presidents still have their ears if that saying about gossip making your ears burn is true. I’m surprised that one of his secret service men doesn’t carry a fire extinguisher with him at all times.

That might make for a more exciting version of “Mr. President.” Instead of being tackled, you would be sprayed on multiple sides by fire extinguishers.

Oh the fun we’d have.

Off to ice my neck,

-T.A.D.