I've always had a knack for getting into awkward situations, probably because of my mental tendency to turn everything around me into a sexual innuendo. (You say immature, I say, why yes I am, in some situations) And also because I have permanently bad timing. I'm sure I will blog more about some awkward moments in my life later, but for now let me try and stay on track.
So, as mentioned in my previous post, right now I'm staying at my cousin "Patrick"'s house. Let me give you a forewarning- Patrick's family is Catholic. Which I have no problem with, at all. I am an atheist, but I pride myself on my ability to respect others and their beliefs. There's already a kind of un-spoken awkwardness just about the whole religious thing, and I'm not even sure if all of them know I'm atheist.
Yes, yes, moving on. So my friend Patrick has his friend over, and we hung out, watched Serenity (incredible movie), and then, after the younger kids had gone to bed and it was just > 17s around, we went downstairs and played a game called "dirty word Bananagrams."
Basically, create your own crossword with letters, like Scrabble, but different. Your understanding of the game is non-essential to the telling of this story. A great friend of mine (my mother's age) and I began this game (I believe it all began with the word "fondle") and so I was passing it on. It's very fun, and it's not like this is something I wouldn't play at home. My mother helped me with spelling, so you can tell that it's not frowned upon in my own household.
We had a giant map, almost a complete set of Bananagram tiles, completed. Everything was wonderfully dirty. We had taken precautions, but apparently our enthusiasm and zest for our game was a little too high. Patrick's mother opens the door.
A silent alarm went off in my head, and I "fell" on the tiles, "accidentally" mixing them up. Patrick and went for the less subtle and possibly more effective method of throwing himself in front of/on our crossword. Pro: it prevented his mother from actually viewing the words. Con: our odd behavior was not subtle enough to hide the fact that we obviously didn't want her to see what words we had made.
She had actually been coming downstairs to send Patrick's friend home, since this was about half an hour ago and it's 11:27 Virginia time. I'm relatively sure he went running. Patrick and I were treated to a king-sized portion of shame with a guilt sauce and awkward on the side.
One remark stuck with me. First she said "How evil are your words?" (Thank you Patrick for putting me in the spotlight with that one) and then, this is the one that hit hardest, "If you're ashamed for your mother to see it, you shouldn't be doing it."
The ridiculous part of it all is that I wouldn't be ashamed if my mother saw it. She might cringe with embarrassment, but more than anything she would probably just shake her head and chuckle quietly. My mother isn't concerned with a game consisting of dirty words. She has acted a bit curious about where I learn all these words from.
Perhaps I'll show her UrbanDictionary one of these days.
-T.A.D.
PS: The last word we managed to make was epic. I won't repeat it in full form. I feel it's enough to say that it was a two-part word that ended with the first syllable of a certain turtle-like water Pokemon and started in a word that was very awkward when I announced my spelling of it in this form "Hey, I got _ _ _ _!!!"
If you can guess that, props. If not, sorry for wasting your time. (All TWO of you readers. Love you)
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