Portrait of a girl

This is the long awaited (hahahahaha) part two of my endeavor to explain feminine standards and how I fail to meet them. While last time I talked about beauty and hair care products and makeup and clothing, today I'm going to talk about the more internal aspects of being a so-called girl.

(On a random tangent, I would like to add my complaint to the complaint of Trope Girl's: why is there no word that has really stuck as the guy equivalent of dude? I don't like using the word chick, and dudette seems a little surfer, so there's no real word between "girl" and "woman," which always seems weird to say. I guess it seems too stuffy or something to me, so I don't like saying "as a woman" etc)

Maybe this is a human thing or maybe this is just a girl thing, but I had a conversation with a friend a while back. We were having a little bit of an argument and trying to figure out our friendship, and she was saying that I basically feel too much. Or too openly I guess. She said that I needed to be more passive agressive; that girls are passive agressive by nature. I don't agree. I think that society makes us passive agressive. Boys are given the okay to beat the crap out of each other, but girls have to hurt each other backhandedly, through gossip and third parties. We see it on TV, in movies, passive agression is everywhere in the media.

I hate being passive agressive. I refuse to play that game anymore. I would much rather have a fight with someone, whether physical or yelling, than be silently steaming at them. I hate the way people treat you when they are passively angry at you. I think that being honest with someone and saying "you know what, I'm kind of mad at you right now" is better than sitting on it for months while everything gets worse.

I'm blunt and out there rather than subtle and introspective, which is another tally mark on how I'm not feminine. I'm still, in a lot of ways, the rough and tumble tomboy I was when I was in middle school. It's not like I can't be subtle. I can, and I am, but not in the same ways.

Other than the stereotypical female fear of spiders, I really can't think of any ways that I do fit the feminine stereotype. I'm not giggly and silly. I'm not obsessed with my appearance. I'm not boy crazy. Please, I'm not trying to say that all girls fit the stereotype, but obviously enough do that it exists.

Ah well. I hope at least some of this was coherent.

Cheers,

-T.A.D.