Simple

Ah, if only life were as simple as it seems to be to an eleven year old.

As I mentioned yesterday, my cousin Thomas has a plan to get me a boyfriend, because, according to him, I need one. When I was here in New Jersey earlier this summer, I accompanied Thomas to his weekly Magic tournament at the Jersey Shore Hobby Store. It is with one of the nice young men that I am supposed to fall madly in love with. Over dinner yesterday night, Thomas shared his plan with me. I am going to recount the conversation for you.

Thomas: Nick (let's call him) is really nice and smart and handsome to girls I think, I don't know for sure because I'm not a girl. Do you remember him? He's the tall one with reddish hair, he has a little beard. He has a crush on you.

Me: Yes, I remember him. Wait, he has a crush on me? How would you know?

Thomas: Well his eyes practically popped out of his head when he saw you. And he asked about you the next time I showed up and you weren't there.

(Obviously this means that Nick is madly in love with me...)

Me: Well, isn't he way older than me anyway?

Thomas: He's in college, so maybe he's two years older than you. But that doesn't matter, he's not super old or I wouldn't be getting you together. So here's what you're gonna do. When you come with me to Magic, you'll ask him to play and say loser buys ice cream for me and my cousin. Then, when we all go out to ice cream, I'll sneak away. And that's that. Then you'll fall madly in love.

Me: Oh, because it's just that simple, right? What if he doesn't accept the bet?

Thomas: Then you ask him out to ice cream. I mean, how complicated could it be?

Oh Thomas, I hope you treasure these years and the simplicity that comes with them. I wish I lived in a world where getting ice cream with someone equals making a relationship work. If I did, my problems would be much more limited.

I think I'm going to do it just to humor him. No harm no foul, right? And it is just ice cream. I honestly don't have a huge recollection of Nick (it was six weeks ago that I met him). I think the best that could come out of all this is that I make a long-distance friend, which might be nice, seeing as I don't have a long list of friends that are guys (four years in an all-girls Catholic school). And the worst that could come of it would be for him to reject my offer for a frozen delicious treat. I think that would be his loss anyway. So I'm going to try the simple way. Who knows, maybe I'll look back on this post in ten years married to Nick. Weirder things have happened in the universe.

Not that I'm looking for a relationship right now, let alone marriage. Ack. Off to bed I go.

Cheers,

-T.A.D.